Seems, madam! nay it is; I know not 'seems.'
The gap is still unbridgeabale. The gap between what seems and what is, is yet to be bridged. The shadow still falls between the idea and reality. But it is the shadow I am interested in, not the idea and definitely not in the reality.
When Sam pleaded to Him to go for as long drive and get drunk, He refused. He remained seated to his cross, smoking and drinking, and feeling the pain. There were options and ways for him to move on, to relieve himself of the wrenching inside, but He stayed put. For more pain.
Pain has a nice but dangerous quality. It makes one addicted to it. One misses it, when one doesn't feel it. What is it that makes pain so attractive, so alluring?
Isn't it for the pain that Hamlet returned to Denmark? To savour it more and more and even more till everything gets over?
Else, how could he be so resigned. "A little more than kin, and less than kind," were his first words, pithy, simmering with caustic sarcasm. Life held nothing interesting for him anymore. Nothing to look forward to. Just going through the motions, till a sword made a hole in his heart.
Was Hamlet really alive when he reached Denmark? Or was it his shadow, his apparition. Wasn't he already dead? Isn't the death of all hopes and desires, the actual death. The body was living but the soul was long dead. "But I have that within which passeth show."
What is within that passeth show? Even in Biday Abhishap (Tagore), Kach said, "aar jaha bohe bokkhomajhe roktomoy, bahire ta kemone prokashibo." (something in these lines).
Isnt it exactly the same erosion of life that these guys are talking about? It is. still they carried on till destiny snuffed the movement out of their limbs. Knowing that death ends all, they still went forward to it, to embrace it as if, death is their best friend.
Well, Rick was an exception. He didn't really had to embrace death. He walked away to anonymity.
To Brazzaville or some god-forsaken place. In search of what else but death.
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4 comments:
Pain is alluring but only from the sidelines. Once you are in it, it is hardly so. Its like upper-class urbanite mentality which glorifies farming !
Rick lost his 'life' but did lived on clutching on to the remnants of memories of Paris. If that is not a celebration of life, then what is ?
Try doing that and you will get to know whether its a celebration of life or an excruciating wait for death
It’s strange how we separate life from death when we all know that we start dying the moment we start living. How we live IS how we die. When you become interested in the shadows, those shadows become your idea and reality. Our realities lie where we want to reside, be it pain, or happiness, or whatever. Pain surely is alluring, moreso when we begin to wallow in it. It feels like being singed in a hot tub of water and then realizing that that heat is actually “soothing.” Each to his own. To you, your pain and shadows. That is your LIFE and hence your journey through DEATH. Note, I said through death, not to death. You have chosen it. Have you chosen wisely? Only you can tell. I can only say, for some others around you, life is in your living it, not dying it.
"In search of what else but death." : too good!
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